A True Friend is Hard to Find

This week has been hard. It’s been hard to watch the world crumbling in the comfort of my own home. The terror, the fear, the looting, the rage, the innocent lives hurt all in the name of racism. My heart breaks for this world. The brokenness and evil overwhelm me the more I go looking and search for truth and read accounts of peoples lives. It is soul destroying. Who can we turn to for law and order? Who can we trust in? Every political party lies in some way or another. I had a beautiful friend ask me a simple question this week. “Jennifer, how do I know what I’m reading is truth? I read one article that paints a position or event one way and then another that states the complete opposite.” It’s all so exhausting.

It’s got me thinking about the next generation. When we are out as a family my children will play with other kids they have never met. When they come back to us after playing they will talk all about their ‘friend’. It’s as simple as that for children. Anyone who is nice, any other child who plays with them is their friend. There’s no judgement. There’s no prerequisites, no pressure as to what they believe, their worldview it’s just pure and innocent love.

It gets me everytime. It brings me a warmth in my heart and at times it convicts my spirit. To love others even when I don’t know who they really are. Then I tend to think further, what makes a good friend? How do we find a true friend? How can we enjoy each other’s company as adults with differing points of view?

You know, just this past week I posted what I believe was a great speech by the President and with that post a friend of mine ‘unfriended’ me. I mean, when I type this out and read it for what it is it’s really embarrassing. I approached them and let them know I’m sorry to see they unfriended me but I still think they were a great person. Since when are we not allowed to have a different opinion? Since when is freedom of opinion allowed only if you agree with my point of view. Since when are people disrespected for their beliefs? I see it more like freedom of speech BUT only if you believe what I believe.

The peaceful protestors are being caught up with the violent protestors. I cannot understand why people are destroying other people’s property all in the name of #blacklivesmatter

Why aren’t we having the same ridiculous protests for #prolivesmatter #babiesmatter #jewsmatter #womenmatter #thirdworldcountriesmatter you get my gist. We need to stop this. We need to stop the abuse and hatred. Now this writing won’t change the world. My thoughts won’t allow people to see reason and logic. This is a very humble blog. I don’t have enough followers to make an impact.

This is my own outlet of my thoughts and dreams. But it feels good to get my words onto this platform. So I can leave it here and give it all to the one who can change things, the one who can make a difference in people’s hard hearts. The Holy Spirit. Only through the gospel can people really change. We must remember this in these trying times. Remember we don’t need the law if we live by the Spirit. Suddenly my children’s Bible memory verse feels so much more powerful. I understand it on a new level.

Just this week I’ve seen countless reports about the President gassing and shooting peaceful protestors for a photo op. That didn’t sit well with me and so it lead me to go searching. Looking for answers. I mean, really if he did such a thing wouldn’t they of put the man on trial! Or called for impeachment? Only two days later it appears in his interviews and also with the perspective of the DOD and Parks Rec. No tear gas or bullets were used to clear the street so the president could in fact visit St.Johns church. A church that was set on fire the night before by riots! All in the name of unity? Huh? Unity? That doesn’t gel for me.

I’ve stopped and had many moments. Moments when I’m alone. To ponder our meaningless lives and why we are here. What is friendship? Brotherhood? I didn’t want my children to see the depths of corruption of humanity just yet. They know some stuff. And they have to for their own protection, you know stranger danger and just plain old sin. People’s hearts are wicked. They understand the only good in them is when the Holy Spirit changes them. That is the good. When Jesus makes you new. You see things differently.

You know, I’ve had different seasons with friendships. Different likes or interests have drawn me to particular people. In my younger years it was who you’re placed with in your class. You connect with those kids because quite frankly you have no other choice. And as we get older we are drawn to new friendships along the way. Some fizzle out just naturally whilst others can sadly take a turn for the worst. I’ve experienced both in my short life. I’ve gone from countless friendships to once having children watching how that naturally changes. My focus is elsewhere. And then I wear a new badge as a ‘homeschool mother’ meaning friendships shift again. I can’t grab a coffee in my day. My best friends become my children. Catch up’s with friends stick to weekends or my new fav app ‘Marco Polo.’ I can connect with friends during the day whilst I’m busy being mum via text or Instagram.

But you know those true friendships. The ones that stick forever. That last through all seasons. Those are really hard to find. In my years I could tell you some stories that belong in a Melodrama Book series. I’ve had moments where I could imagine you reader sitting on the other side of the table at your fav cafe (let’s be real I just imagine it these days) sipping your delicious coffee with your jaw dropped over the stories of “so called friendships” ha! And I’m certain you would exchange the same jaw dropping stories yourself… maybe not to the same degree. Trust me.

However, jokes aside. I’ve come to learn through the Spirit to trust His gentle voice, the way He presses on my spirit and heart with a certainty in a person. I’ve learnt to pray for my friendships. I’ve learnt it’s of great importance to ask God for kind friendships where my whole family are blessed. Not just myself. Where we can give and serve as a family. And enjoy life giving friendships.

We were created for relationship. We were created to enjoy these good things given to us by God. Jesus had 12 close friends in His 30’s. That’s more than I have (ha!) yet in that bunch of great blokes He has 3 very close ones. Ones that came alongside Him and held him up in prayer, who laughed and cried with Him, who encouraged Him. Who were there even though they were flawed and got it wrong. Who weren’t afraid to say ‘sorry’ when they did the wrong thing. Who failed miserably and yet he forgave time and time again.

As I’m nearing my 40’s now I can see the saying is real, “A true friend is hard to find.” However, to find that true friend, we need to pray for it. We need to ask the giver of all good things to place the right people in our lives. In our circle. To become our community. And hear me friend, one or two good, solid God glorifying friendships are better than 20 fake ones. God can and will do this for you reader.

So no matter our spiritual or political beliefs can’t we just see past this and show love? Can’t we look for a need in someone and fill it. Talk about the real issues in life. Ask ourselves how can I help the poor and lost and be a friend in someway to all mankind? How can I be as Jesus was to the best of my ability. In doing so we display Christ. And the gospel will no doubt be spread.

Ultimately there is one true friend who will never hurt or shame you. Who will never throw slurs at you or talk behind your back, who will never lie or cuss at you. A friend who would lay their life down for you. In fact this friend already has. Now, that’s true friendship.

Peace, love and grace to you reader wherever you are at.

Jennifer X

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